8 years of silence
by Frances Desmarais
Summary: "I remember that day you left without notice, abandoned your heart and your home. So I'm singing to break these eight years of silence that I've learned to lead on my own."
1. Chapter 1

Roderich stared at the scenery outside the window. Looking out at his front lawn, the overgrown glrass and the dark dark sky, looks like it's going to rain. It's been such a long time since he mowed the lawn, no, he never mow the lawn, _Gilbert_ always mow the lawn.

_"It's a man's work and such a girly man like you should just sit back and run your delicate fingers over the keys of your piano. So just let me, sweet. It would be un-awesome if you hurt yourself."_

_Roderich laughed a little at the stupid things his lover, his boyfriend said and shook his head._

_That arrogant bastard._

_Roderich punched him lightly on his arm, and GIlbert pretended to wince in pain, doubled over moaning "It hurts so much Roddy! I can't feel my arms!" Then he fell on the floor clutching his arms, rolling around._

_"Don't call me Roddy you arrogrant jerk. I'm not girly." Roderich huffed and folded his arms across his chest, glaring at the albino on the floor._

_"Heh, of course." GIlbert got up of the floor and put his arms around Roderich and looked him in the eyes. He had to bow his head down a little to they'd be at the same eye level. Gilbert is a little taller than Roderich, a few centimetres, and the shorter man was often laughed at by his albino lover._

_"Yes yes sweet, you are not girly. I am girly. You're the manliest man on earth and I'm the girliest man on earth. Ok? Now, manly man, would you please go out there and mow the lawn? I can't see the other side." Gilbert smirked as Roderich winced a little at the word 'mow the lawn'. Roderich hates hard work like this, he hates work that required him to sweat and move a lot. He prefer sitting quietly on his favorite chair and read a book, maybe Shakespeare or Tolstoy, or just sitting there on his piano stool and play pieces by Chopin or Bach. While Gilbert, on the other hand, just loves moving around. Rock climbing, sky diving, bungee jumping, wrestling... and of course, mowing the lawn._

_"Um... I think I'll just skip for today. Well, you see that the..."_

_"But aren't you manly?"_

_Gilbert was enjoying himself by watching Roderich squirming in front of him and biting his lip. Sure, he knew that Roderich would never admit himself as girly, not in a million years, but he love to see his expression when they argue about that._

_"Yes, ehem, I am quiet, well, how do you say, ehem, manly. And of course definitely not girly."_

_Gilbert smirked._

_"But um, about the lawn..."_

_"Nah, no worries sweet, I'll take care of that." Finally Gilbert let go of Roderich and decided to mow the lawn, satisfied with Roderich's little uneasy actions._

_"Really?" Roderich beamed, clasping his hands in front of his chest._

_Gilbert rolled his eyes playfully and let out a 'duh.'_

_"That's what manly men like the awesome me do, my princess."_

Roderich came back to earth when he heard the sound of the ignition of a car being turned off. A red Mercedes was parked a few feet away from his lawn and a tall figure started to make his way to the door, fighting the long grass like Indiana Jones. Finally he made it to the door and Roderich realized that it's Ludwig, Gilbert's little brother.

Ludwig knocked on the door and Roderich croaked a weak 'come in'. Hesitating, Ludwig turned the door knob to the small house and stepped in.

"Hello, Roderich." he greeted.

The Austrian nodded and stared at him as he closed the door behind him.

Ludwig knitted his brows together as he took in the sight of the house in from of him. Clothes of his brother strewn all over the place, beer and wine bottles on the table, leftover pizza on the sofa, the TV switched on but muted. The whole place was a mess, and there's one familiar smell greeted his nostril but he couldn't get his fingers on what that is. Scanning at the room for a few more seconds he saw his brother's cologne lying on the floor, then he realized that it's the smell of Gilbert's cologne. Roderich had sprayed Gilbert's cologne on everything. Everything. And now the whole house smells like Gilbert.

_The Austrian is slowly going mad._

His favorite piano was covered in dust and it looks like it hasn't been touched in years. There's sheet music everywhere, with the notes not filled in or half filled in, some of them are scrunched in a ball and missed the wastepaper basket. And to Ludwig's surprise, he found a packet of cigarette on the coffe table.

"Since when did you start smoking?" Ludwig asked the half lifeless man sitting by the window, hair uncombed, shirt full of wrinkles and bags under his eyes. The Austrian looked at him with half lidded eyes and shook his head, hugging his legs to his chest, still staring outside the window.

"An aristocrat doesn't smoke."

Sure, the packet was unopened. Ludwig ran his fingers through his short hair and sighed.

"Roderich, you should get hold of yourself. You shouldn't..."

"Don't tell me what to do."

Ludwig massaged his temples at the words of the Austrian. Every time he came visit, and every time he'd told the violet eyed man to get hold of himself, he'd get the same answer, every time. So he'd just leave him to drown in his misery and went to clean the house for him. After cleaning the house, he'd bathe the Austrian.

Yes, he _bathe_ the Austrian, like he's a big baby.

A few years back, when his brother just left, he came visit just to make sure he's alright and Roderich was such a mess that he couldn't recognize him, and he found out that Roderich refused to shower, refused to eat and refused to sleep after his lover was gone. So Ludwig made him food, fed it to him, bathe him, put him into clean clothes and put him to sleep, singing him lullabies in German until Roderich fell asleep, crying and clutching to Ludwig's arm. No notes, no text messages, no phone calls, nothing.

His albino big brother left just like that.

And no one know why.

Ludwig felt that it was his duty to look after the poor Austrian, who failed to take care of himself after his lover left. Usually, he'd think that this kind of person are pathetic and should just disappear from the face of the earth but Roderich's an exception. Maybe he developed a special bond with him because Roderich was his brother's lover. He could still remember his brother's face when he barged in the door with a flushed Roderich in his arms, announcing "This is my boyfriend and if anyone disagree to this, speak now or forever hold your peace. But if you really do disagree with the awesome me dating a guy, well then fuck you I don't care what you think because I love Roderich and that's that."

Their mother fainted at that.

Ludwig chuckled a little when he recalled back the night his father lectured Gilbert about homosexuality and heterosexuality and Gilbert just looked at him bored.

"Look old man, I know what I'm doing so please don't talk anymore. Please."

The folks kicked him out of the house and he gladly moved in with Roderich.

But after a few years, he disappeared. Just disappeared into thin air, vanished. Roderich was frantic, calling up every friend of theirs, running around the town looking for the albino, asking every hospital in town if they had someone named Gilbert Beilschmidt. He didn't give up, until now, 8 years later, he would still sit next to the window, looking out at the front lawn, at the overgrown grass, hoping that the albino would come home.

* * *

><p>Ludwig massaged the Austrian's head and applied more shampoo on his silky black hair. Roderich had his eyes closed, leaning back against the wall of the bathroom and letting his lover's brother wash him, because he didn't want to, refused to clean himself, afraid that he would scrub all of Gilbert's memories and the feeling of Gilbert's touches away from him. The warm water made contact with his scalp and he closed his eyes, letting the water wash away the bubbles from his hair.<p>

After a while, he was out of the bath with Gilbert's robe on (he refused to wear anything except Gilbert's clothes, which made him feel more safe and closer to Gilbert) Hair still wet, plastered on his face while Ludwig went around looking for the hair dryer. Roderich slowly walked over to the dresser where a picture of him and Gilbert was. He looked so different in his picture, his skin was glowing, his eyes filled with love and he was smiling. Gilbert was kissing him on the cheek when the picture was taken, by their friend Elizaveta. They were out picnicking and Elizaveta happened to have a camera with her, so she took a picture of them together. They were happy. Holding hands and with Gilbert's lips on his cheek, he felt like he was the luckiest man on earth, girly or not.

Now, he hardly smiled. No, he hasn't smile ever since that day Gilbert decided to leave. 8 long years, he didn't move his smile muscle. And his skin didn't glow anymore, it's now dull and lifeless looking, gray. His eyes didn't glow and wasn't filled with love, now it was like a bottomless pit, you can't see anything in his eyes. Expressionless, almost like he doesn't has a soul.

Ludwig found the hair dryer and patted on the side of the bed, telling him to sit down. He did just that and let the hot air from the hairdryer blow the moisture out of his hair. The sound of the hairdryer made him dizzy and the feeling of Ludwig's hands on his made his breathing ragged.

Ludwig, he's also a Beilschmidt,_ I wonder if he'd feel just like his big brother._

Suddenly, Ludwig was on the bed looking up shocked at a pair of violet eyes. The Austrian snatched the hair dryer out of his hands and stradled him.

"Roderi..."

"Hush hush Ludwig. I just want to feel, can I?" Roderich slurred, like he had too much alcohol.

He ran his hand over Ludwig's chest and planted a kiss on his cheek.

"What... what are you doing? Get off of me, please."

"No." he snapped, pushing his palms onto Ludwig's chest, preventing him from getting up.

"I'm lonely Ludwig, so..." he leaned down next to Ludwig's ear and whispered "Do you think you could love me in your brother's place?"

Ludwig blushed up until his ears and shook his head, pushing Roderich away from him and held him down with his hands on his shoulders.

"No, I can't Roderich. This is, wrong." he said, looking into his eyes, hoping to talk some sense into him.

"But I want to."

"No you don't."

"I miss him. I just want to... I don't know... maybe, maybe that..."

Tears welled up in his eyes and he lifted his head to look at the ceiling, hoping he could let the tears flow back into where in came from.

"Maybe that you could, I don't know, maybe you'd feel like him...since..."

He sniffed and clutched onto the robe he was wearing and let his tears run freely like water from two little faucets.

Ludwig stared in horror as the man in front of his started to cry, and he seemed a little out of breath. He was clutching his chest and his mouth was opened, gasping for air like a fish out of water. His whole body trembled as he cried out. Cried out all the pain in his chest from Gilbert leaving.

Ludwig felt his heart clenched at the sight in front of him. Roderich looked so small and scared, like a little boy who got lost in the shopping mall with hundred of people around him but none of them was his mother. He moved closer to the crying Austrian and pulled him into a bear hug.

Roderich let go of his grip on the robe and grabbed onto Ludwig, crying his heart out.

"I miss him. I miss him. Ludwig I miss him. Tell him to come back , tell him to come back to me please. " he wailed, his tears forming a wet patch on Ludwig's shirt.

Ludwig patted his back softly and whispered soothing things in his ear, hoping to calm him down. The Austrian's grip on him started to hurt.

"He'll come back Roderich. Gilbert will come back. I'm sure."

"8 years! 8 fucking long years and I was to left alone for so long!"

"Hush hush, don't cry. Please don't cry anymore."

"Tell him to come back! Tell him to come back! I want his stupid arrogant albino ass to come back now Ludwig! Tell him to freaking come back!"

The Austrian man cried openly in Ludwig's arms. He could feel himself falling apart, piece by piece.

8 long years he waited. He waited for his lover to come back. He believed that, whatever reason Gilbert had, it is reasonable, to have him leave him just like that, and for 8 long long years.

Roderich couldn't bring himself to believe that Gilbert might be dead. The thought of that scares him and he try not to think about that as much as he could.

Roderich must be really really upset right now, because he never curses. Never. Not even when he accidentally hit his little toe on the corner of the table or stepped on a Lego. He'd keep silent and rub his little toe or foot in silence, sending death glares at the table or the Lego piece that made him suffer such horrible pain.

Ludwig combed back Roderich's hair and looked into his purple eyes filled with water. The Austrian's face was flushed and there're few drops of blood on his bottom lip, he bit himself too hard. He had cried too hard that he began to let out small hiccups.

Ludwig gently lay the Austrian down when he has finally calmed down and pulled the covers over him. Roderich curled into a ball under the covers and clutched on Gilbert's robe. He buried his face into Gilbert's pillow and inhaled, the smell of him faint, almost gone. Roderich's closed his eyes and a drop of stray tear escaped.

Ludwig wiped away the small tear from the Austrian's cheek and sighed, patting the small man's back to soothe him down, maybe sending him to sleep.

Feeling Ludwig's constant patting on his back, he slowly relaxed and his hiccups subsided. He hugged the pillow close to his chest and exhaled.

"He'll come back, no?"

A small voice whispered under the covers, making Ludwig jumped a little at the sound.

"J-ja... he will Roderich."

"What if... what if he doesn't?"

Ludwig stared at the lump on the bed, wide eyed.

"No, he will."

"Really?"

Roderich's voice sounded tired and small, and faraway. Ludwig leaned down and planted a small kiss on his cheek.

"Ja."

Ludwig turned and turned off the lights, leaving the small Austrian in the bedroom. After he closed the door quietly behind him, he whispered to himself,

"If he didn't, then I'll take his place to love you."

* * *

><p><em>"Hey Roddy, catch!"<em>

_A square shaped thing landed on Roderich's lap before he could catch it. He frowned before lifting the thing near to his eyes, squinting, he could make out the words on the book. (He wasn't wearing glasses as he just woke up from a nap and got attacked by a certain Prussian.)_

_"Mozart?" he read the title of the book and cocked an eyebrow at the grinning albino._

_"Why'd you give me Mozart?" he asked._

_"Kesese, I want you to play something of Mozart to me, but I don't know the name of it so I bought the book and maybe you could play it and make me remember!"_

_"You want me to play the whole book?"_

_"Ja!"_

_Roderich looked at him anoyed and stood up, putting on his glasses then walked over to the piano standing on the corner of the living room. He lifted the lid and was greeted by rows of black and white keys, smiling at him. He sat down on the stood, and scooted over to make room for the albino. Gilbert gladly plopped down beside him and snatched the book away from him and flipped tha pages noisily._

_"I think it's something like..." he hummed the music, looking at Roderich, hoping he could recognize the tune he was humming._

_Roderich shook his head and sighed. "No Gil, I don't know that and is that something you created on your own?"_

_"No! It is Mozart, I swear! It's something quite famous, surely you must have heard of it."_

_"But what is the title of it?"_

_"I don't know! You're the piano guy!"_

_Roderich puffed up his cheeks and Gilbert reached out and poked him on the face._

_"Come on princess, play it."_

_"Mmm..." he swatted Gilbert's finger away from his face and retrived back the book from the Prussian's grip, positioning his fingers on the keys._

_"Do not disturb me when I play." the Austrian said expressionless and the albino nodded._

_Roderich hates it when people disturb him when he play._

_The first note was struck and Gilbert immediately started to hum along._

This is it! I was humming this just a moment ago and he couldn't recognize it. What is wrong with him?

_Gilbert continued to hum along to the beautiful music produce by the long slender finger of the Austrian. When the last note was played, Gilbert stood up and clapped._

_"Beautiful Roddy! Absolutely beautiful! This is the song I was humming just a moment ago."_

_"The tune you hummed sounded nothing like this." Roderich said and closed the lid of the piano and tucked away the book neatly along with the rest of his music books._

_"Meh, whatever. What is the title of this?"_

_"Moonlight Sonata."_

* * *

><p>The smell of coffee woke Roderich up from his sleep.<p>

_Dammit, I dreamed about him again._

He released his death grip on the pillow and slowly get out from the bed, he winced as his feet made contact with the cold marble floor. Without cleaning himself up, still wearing the robe, _Gilbert's robe_, he made his way downstairs to a clean living room and a kitchen filled with smell of coffee and bacon.

He rubbed his eyes and walked to the kitchen. With blurry eyes, he made out a man's figure standing in front of the stove, flipping pancakes.

Gilbert always flips pancakes.

Gilbert always makes coffee.

Gilbert always makes bacon.

Gilbert.

Gilbert is back.

He felt his heart jumped in his chest and a knot formed in his throat. He felt tears in his eyes and he swallowed.

He blinked a few more times, clearing away the tears and to clear his vision. (He didn't has his glasses on) The supposed to be snowy white hair, turned into a golden blonde,and the supposed to be ruby red orbs, they turned into sky blue.

Ludwig.

Roderich felt his heart stopped beating so hard and he held the side of the door to hold himself up.

So it's not Gilbert.

Ludwig sensed the presence of someone behind him and turned around, and saw Roderich holding onto the doorframe.

"Morning."

Roderich muttered a small reply and proceed to sit down on the table, waiting for breakfast to be served. He turned his head to stare at the piano behind him, covered in dust, corners filled with spiderwebs. It's been such a long time since he played the piano.

Too much memories, too many things about him and Gilbert happened around that piano. That piano was a gift from Gilbert, a surprise gift. It was his birthday and he was out doing the grocery shopping. Gilbert, using the chance of him out of the house, to call the piano delivery guy to deliver the piano to their home. When he finished positioning to piano, he covered it with a large piece of cloth and stuck a ribbon on it, then he waited for his lover to come back.

When Roderich came back home, he was greeted by darkness as Gilbert tied a blindfold over his eyes.

_"Gilbert what are you doing?"_

_"I have something to show you."_

_"What is it?"_

_"You'll see."_

_Gilbert led him in front of the piano and undid his blindfold. Roderich stared at the large object in front of him and looked at Gilbet questioningly._

_"What is this?"_

_"Open it."_

_"Wha-"_

_"Open it."_

_Roderich hesitantly walked over to the piano and looked back at the grinning Gilbert._

_"Ok Gil, if this is something scary I'm kicking you out of the house."_

_"I promise you it's not scary, you'll love it, in fact. I swear."_

_The Austrian raised an eyebrow and pulled the cloth away from the piano._

_He let out a small scream as he saw the sleek black piano in front of him._

_"Surprise, princess."_

_Gilbert had his arms around Roderich's waist and he kissed the side of his face._

_"Happy birthday, Roddy."_

_"This.. for me?"_

_"Yes."_

_"Oh Gil, I..."_

_A pair of lips crashed onto Gilbert's and he was caught off guard, so off guard that he landed on the floor with a loud thud and the birthday boy on top of him._

_"Thank you, you shouldn't..."_

_"This is what I should do, what a husband should do to his wifey."_

_"I..." Roderich blushed, "I'm not your wifey..."_

_"No? Then I'm taking back the piano, my real wifey is waiting for it."_

_"No no no. I... thank you, Gilbert."_

_Gilbert kissed the tip of his nose and pulled the Austrian down with him to the floor._

_He kissed the blushing Austrian passionately and gently ran his hands under the Austrian's shirt and touched his skin._

_Roderich glared at him. "Gilbert..."_

_The albino ran his finger down the brunette's back and he shivered._

_"How about it?"_

_With a flushed face, he shyly nodded._

_And that's the day Roderich lost his virginity to the arrogant albino, in front of his piano._

Roderich dug his nails into the flesh of his palms as the memory raced back to his head. He turned his head back to the table and a cup of coffee was in front of him. It smelt so delicious.

"Drink up." Ludwig said, leaning against the counter, sipping on his own cup.

"Why are you still here?"

"Me?"

Roderich nodded.

"Well I couldn't left you here alone when you're at your weakest, no?"

"I don't need your sympathy."

Roderich glared at Ludwig with annoyed violet orbs.

"You couldn't even dress yourself properly."

"None of your business."

Rodrich pushed the coffee away from him.

Roderich knew that the blonde in front of him has feelings for him, ever since the day he started to come around constantly, Roderich noticed the change in his tone and the look in his eyes, and it disgusts Roderich to no end. He's in love with the blonde's brother, a certain loud arrogant albino, not the serious 'tsundere' blonde little brother with gorgeous blue eyes that you'd get lost in.

"What exactly do you want from me Ludwig?"

* * *

><p><strong>Hello. This was meant to be a one shot but then I got so into it that I decide to make it a two shot, or maybe a three shot. Depends. Poor Roderich. Poor Ludwig. Poor Gilbert. Inspired by The Scene Aesthetic's '8 years of silence'. A very beautiful song, that is. <strong>

**Well, see ya~ (I really have to stop procrastinating and finish my stories)**

**Also, I do not own Hetalia, no matter how much I want to.**


	2. Chapter 2

"Why are you still waiting for him? It's really clear that he won't come back anymore Roderich. Accept it. He left and he is not coming back. He doesn't want you anymore. Why do you think he left just like that? 8 years some more. Why Roderich, why?"

Suddenly Roderich stood up and landed a hard slap on the blonde's face. Ludwig stared at the Austrian shocked while clutching to his throbbing face.

The Austrian was breathing hard, hand still hurt from the contact with the German's face, tears threaten to fall out from his eyes.

"Take that back. Take that back you jerk." Roderich said through gritted teeth.

The kitchen was quiet, awkward. Only the constant dripping of water from the tap was heard and Roderich's heavy breathing.

"Get out of my house. Now."

Roderich pointed at the door.

"Get out!"

"Roderich... I..."

"GET OUT LUDWIG BEILSCHMIDT I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOUR FACE ANYMORE JUST GET OUT!" Roderich screamed as tears run down from his eyes. He clutched to the robe he was wearing and sobbed. "Get out. Get out. Get out..." he muttered to himself as his knuckles turned white from his grip.

"I... I'm so sorry Roderich. I shouldn't... that was really stupid of me and..." The German moved closer to the sobbing man and when he was about to put his arms around him, the smaller man pushed him away. He stumbled backwards and knocked over the mug on the table. Coffee was spilled everywhere. Then the mug rolled down from the table and landed on the floor with a loud clank. Pieces of porcelain flew everywhere, one of them scratch Roderich on the cheek and he screamed.

"No! No! No! That's... no! Gilbert no!"

The Austrian's hands pressed against his face while trying hard to stop the blood from flowing. He pressed his palm on the wound but the blood is still running.

"Gilbert's blood. I can't... I have to stop this. Gilbert!" he cried, tears mixing with the blood on his face, creating a messy little puddle on his hand.

"Roderich, let me have a look at that." Ludwig gently move the smaller man's hand away from the wound and Roderich screamed. "No! If I don't stop this then... then Gilbert..."

"What are you talking about? What does this have to do with my brother?"

Roderich shook his head and continued sobbing.

_"Country roooad~ take me hooome~"_

_"Would you shut up already? You're annoying."_

_"But you love me like that."_

_"Idiot."_

_The two lovers were on the motorcycle and driving on the road with a dangerously fast speed. It's late at night so the road was quite desserted. Roderich had his arms around Gilbert's waist, holding on tight, feeling the wind on his face and his hair everywhere. This is what they do almost every Saturday, just zipping around on the empty road and feeling the wind on their faces. _

_And he loves it when Gilbert takes him out for a ride._

_A dangerous ride._

_"Hey Roderich, look what I can do."_

_With that, he lifted the front wheels of the motorcycle and Roderich screamed._

_When the wheels finally made contact with the road, the albino laughed and Roderich punched him with one hand, screaming "You idiot! You could have killed us both!"_

_"Don't worry princess, the awesome me won't do something un-awesome like that. Plus, I still need you to satisfy my inhuman hunger for sex."_

_Roderich blushed behind his lover and hugged on the albino's waist tighter._

_"Idiot..." he muttered._

_"I love you too. Let's do that again!"_

_"No!"_

_Ignoring his words, the Prussian once again lifted the front wheel of the vehicle._

_"Wooooo!"_

_"Get me back on land you idiot! I don't like this!"_

_"Chill princess... this is just..."_

_Just then, all of a sudden out of nowhere, a truck appeared in front of them._

_"Gil!" Roderich shouted at the albino, but too late, the truck driver saw them but didn't get to brake in time, so the small motorcycle with the two on it crashed into the truck and the momentum of it sent the small Austrian on the back flying backwards to the hard ground below._

_He felt something broke when he made contact with the ground and he heard someone screaming for him, then he blacked out._

_"Too much blood loss... two broken bones on the left arm..."_

_"No more blood..."_

_"... donate..."_

_"Blood type... B positive..."_

_"Mine... blood..."_

_Rodrich was drifting in and out of consiousness. The bright light hurted his eyes and he felt pain all over his body. His felt dizzy and couldn't move his arms. He felt someone holding his hand and with great difficulty, he saw that it's none other than Gilbert._

_"You have to save him!" Gilbert screamed at the doctor is a white coat as he held onto Roderich's cold hand. "If you want blood, I'll give him. You need B positive blood, and mine is also B positive. We're a match, so please. I'll give you as many as you want as long as you save him, please. I'm begging you."_

_A drop of water fell onto Roderich's hand and he noticed that his forever arrogant and proud boyfriend is clutching to his hand, crying like a child who's about to lose his mother._

_"Please doctor... I'm begging you. He is my life. I can't live without him... please..."_

_"But sir, we have to run a test first to make sure if you're a perfect donor and moreover your arm..."_

_"I don't give a fuck! Take me to run that stupid test now and get my blood in him! NOW!"_

_Rodrich felt tears stinged his eyes after he heard the words of the albino. Weakly, he returned the grip of Gilbert's hand before the albino was being taken to the room where they'll run tests on his blood._

_Their blood matched and it was in him in a blink of an eye. Roderich's arm was in a heavy cast and was resting on the hard hospital bed when Roderich came in, paler than before, also with a cast on his arm. When he saw that the smaller man was already awake and was sitting up looking at him, he showed one of his signature smiles, a bit weaker and went over to him._

_"Hey... how are you feeling?"_

_"Painful... but it's ok."_

_"I'm really sorry sweet, I should have listen to you about..."_

_"Apology accepted. Just don't so those kind of things again, you're lucky that I didn't die."_

_"What are you talking about? You won't Roderich. You will be very very healthy and live until you're at least 100. Don't talk about dying ever again. I don't want to loose you..."_

_Gilbert bowed down his head and tightens his fists against the fabric of his jeans._

_"I was so scared just now. You were... you were unconscious, and there's blood... everywhere... it was so scary... I was so scared..."_

_"But it's fine now, no? I am still here, no?"_

_"Yes but... I almost lost you." Gilbert lifted up his head, his ruby orbs met Roderich's violet ones._

_"And I don't want to lose you, no. Not ever."_

_Roderich smiled and took his lover's hand, the one without the cast in his and kissed the back of it._

_"I won't. I won't leave. And if I really do leave, I will bring you along with me. And, how's your arm?"_

_"Yeah, that'd be great. My arm is fine, thanks for asking. How is it? My blood cells swimming awesomely in your veins." the Prussian smirked as the Austrian blushed._

_"It... it's just like normal, except when you brought it up, it feels a little weird, and unreal."_

_"Roddy, princess, a part of me is in you now, are you happy?"_

_"W-what... what nonsense was that?" Roderich let go of Gilbert's hand and crossed his arms across his chest. "That sounded almost perverted."_

_"Oh? Do you want it to be perverted?" he winked._

_"N-No! You're unbelievable Gilbert."_

_"Yeah, I know. I love you too." With that, the albino planted a kiss on the smaller man's chapped lips._

_"Take care of my awesome blood cells for me, ok?"_

_"Ok."_

A plaster was stuck onto Roderich's face.

He had stopped crying after Ludwig was forced to leave the house, by using a knife.

_"LEAVE! Or I'll kill you!" the smaller man lifted the knife on his hand and pointed at Ludwig._

_"Ro-Roderich... calm down. I'll go! I'll go! Just put that down ok? You might hurt yourself."_

_"LEAVE!"_

_Ludwig scrambled to get his car keys on the counter and headed to the door._

_"I will come back to check on you, ok?"_

_"LEAVE! NOW!"_

_The German closed the door behind him and drove away._

Roderich was still in the robe and the TV was on, muted as always. He just wanted company, but the voices of the TV were too loud it hurts his ears. His stomach was growling. He did not touch the food Ludwig made for him, he just left it on the table and went to find a plaster for his face.

_Let it rot. Just let it rot._

It's so quiet again in the house.

He made his way to his usual spot on the window and sat down, looking out at the jungle like tall grass outside, trying to spot a certain albino like he always does.

His knees were brought up against his chest and he rested his head on them.

Another day wasted waiting for something that won't happen.

* * *

><p><em>"Look! A shooting star!"<em>

_He followed the fingers of his lover as he pointed at a white light gliding across the night sky._

_"Quick Roddy, make a wish!" Gilbert closed his eyes and clasped his hands in front of his chest._

_"I wish I get to marry Roderich Edelstein." the albino said, with his eyes closed, a small smile on his face._

_"What kind of wish was that?"_

_"A cute one."_

_"You're unbelievable."_

_"Your turn! Come one! Aww... you missed it." Gilbert pouted._

_"Do you know that if you announce your wish like that it won't come true?"_

_"Really? Aww man..."_

_Roderich smiled at the Prussian beside him. "Well but I heard that if you're sincere enough then it might come true."_

_"Really?"_

_"Yes."_

_"I really want to marry you Roderich." Gilbert wrapped his arms around the smaller man's waist and looked at him in the eyes._

_"But this country has not legalized same sex marriage yet." the brunetter said sadly, resting his head on his lover's shoulder, looking up at the dark sky._

_Their broken arms were finally healed and to celebrate, Gilbert brought them both to this wide field to look at the stars, maybe just sit and talk, forgetting about the world. And they'd been so lucky to have met a meteor shower. It had been a real pain around the house with both of them in casts, but they managed._

_"Oh it will. I'm going to make gay marriage legal and we'll be the first couple to register. Won't that be great Roddy?"_

_"Of course... and don't call me Roddy. It's Roderich to you."_

_"Whatever. Don't you want to be my wifey?"_

_Silence._

_"Roddy?"_

_"That'd be nice, being married to you but I won't be your wifey, I prefer to be called husband."_

_"But you don't even mow the lawn. You just sit there with a book and look pretty. That's not very husband-like."_

_"Pfft... which sane man in this world would be insane enough to call themselves as 'wives'?"_

_"Well, I would be the one insane enough to call you my wife. Though I don't think that's insane. It's cute."_

_"...Idiot..." _

_The two sat in silence for a while with their arms around each other when another shooting star appeared._

_"Roddy, it's here again. Make a wish."_

_"Ok ok."_

_He closed his eyes and clasped his hands over his chest just like Gilbert._

I wish for his wish to come true.

_Then he opened his eyes and saw Gilbert staring looking at him, brows knitted together._

_"Whaddya wish for?"_

_"I won't tell you."_

_"Aww come on princess, tell me. Is it about me?"_

_"No. And I refuse to tell you." Roderich lied and smiled a little when he had his back turned._

_"Oh come on... I told you mine."_

_"You didn't tell me. You announced it like it's some 7 o'clock news."_

_"Cheh..."_

Roderich was woken up by the constant knocking on the door.

He rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand and covered his ears with his hands, ignoring the person outside.

_Probably Ludwig again._

But the knocking got louder and louder and eventually it felt like it would blow the door off its hinges.

Groaning, Roderich got up from the spot he was curled up in and made way to the door, rubbing the sore muscle on his back.

"What do you..."

When he opened the door, the sight in front of him surprised him so much that he forgotten how to form words.

Snowy white hair.

A good few centimetres taller than himself.

A white tuxedo.

Roses in one hand.

That signature smirk.

And those arrogant and proud ruby red orbs.

Gilbert.

It's Gilbert.

"Hello princess," he said to a wide eyed Roderich.

"I'm back."

* * *

><p>He was crying so hard, arms around Gilbert tightly, afraid that if he let go, he'd be gone again.<p>

"There there princes... I'm so sorry. So so sorry that I left you just like that..."

"You should be..." Roderich replied in a small slightly high pitch voice from crying and continued burying his head in Gilbert's chest. Tears forming a wet patch on his tux but he didn't care. As long as Gilbert's here, everything is fine.

Inhaling the familiar scent of Gilbert's and feeling the solidness of his body and constant heartbeat, Roderich felt calm, and safe. He had not has this feeling since so long ago.

"I'm really sorry. I was out doing something and it was really difficult..."

"You should have called."

"I know... but I want to keep it as a surprise. I thought that it would only take a few weeks or a few months, but who knows the stupid government had to make things so hard."

"What do you mean?"

"I was fighting the right to legalize gay marriages." That smile, that beautiful smile. Roderich reached out and crashed his lips on them. Those warm, soft lips finally united with his own again, he felt like dancing on clouds, singing with angels. He had missed that feeling.

When he let go, his face was flushed and Gilbert was smiling at him softly, gently like a lover should. Then he reached behind his back pocket to retrieve something.

It was a small box. And when he opened it, the thing inside made Roderich felt dizzy and almost out of breath.

It was a diamond ring, shining in the sunlight pouring in from the windows, grinning at Roderich like a newborn baby, begging for him to wear it, to accept it.

"Gilbert..." Roderich said, his voice so small that it was almost a whisper.

Then the albino got down on one knee in front of the couch they were sitting on just a moment ago, in front of Roderich and cleared his throat. "Roderich Edelstein, I, Gilbert Beilschmidt love you, like, love you. I realized that I can't live without you. My thoughts always revolve around you. My mind is always filled with you. Even in my sleep, I dream of you. Your presence had light up my world like nothing else. I need you princess. To light up my world even more, to show me things and show me feelings that I don't know or haven't discover. I love you princess. I really do. No matter how many times that I had said this but I will say it a thousand, a million times more if I have to. I love you. I love you. I love you. More than everything else in the world. I'd do anything to you. As long as you opened that sweet mouth of yours and requests something, I'll do it. You want the moon, I'll get you the moon. You want the stars, I'll steal all of the from the sky just to make you smile. So Roderich Edelstein, will you marry me and be my wifey?"

Roderich, sitting on the couch, almost fell out of it after he heard the last sentence. His eyes welled up with tears. He had his hands on his mouth, covering the gigantic smile blooming on his face like a flower. He was so so shocked that his brain failed to register what happened and when he finally realized what had happened, he nodded his head vigorously and tackled Gilbert to the ground, kissing everywhere on his face that he could reach.

"Oh Gilbert... Oh Gil... of course! Of course I'd marry you!"

Sometimes, after difficult, painful waitings, always comes something beautiful.

* * *

><p><strong>Gah... don't kill me. (≧ω≦)<strong>


End file.
